Abstraction

The poem 'Loose Change' by Thonatos is written in a way that, without the title, could be difficult for some to understand. Even with the title, some friends of mine admitted they're not sure they'd understand the poem is simply about finding change dropped in the street. While Thonatos has no notes on this poem specifically, the writer does talk about the problem with subtracting details: "there are times when i want to write i choose to leave certain details out. i know that in certain cases this risks no one but myself understanding what i've written. i don't see that as 'bad' really because not everything i write is meant to be a great work but rather another mark passed on the way to it. stepping stones. and this doesn't make them irrelevant but they are what they are. if someone has to think a little more should they read my poetry, i don't think i'm being mean or sly. i would think if a second or third pass reveals a little more on each inspection for the reader, they've discovered something about themselves in the process somehow." I'm not sure what Thonatos means to imply by a reader discovering something about themselves and some would insinuate that this is in fact a gross display of arrogance on Po's part. But Thonatos is/was complex in personal philosophy and artistic techniques, sometimes swinging wildly from one attitude or disposition on a topic to the next. Cynacism and frustration are sitting side by side with hopefulness and sincerity in Thonatos' observations. I enjoy reading 'Loose Change' because each time I have, I enjoy it's simplicity and also think of times I've discovered a dime or quarter laying on the sidewalk and remind myself not to be too terribly upset if I drop them myself. Perhaps someone else will be 'a little richer for the pause'.

Backflips for Pablo

That is the title for the most recently posted poem to the Thonatos poetry journal, bubblingbrain. I think the note on this poem from Po is interesting:

“I asked Pablo out and he said ‘yes’! i came home and skipped around my apartment for fifteen minutes. he’s already made me happy and he’s done nothing more than say ‘yes’.First guy in so many dry seasons of nothingness. So nervous but hid that enough i suppose for him to agree. he’s big, and he’s beautiful and so sweet. now that i’m meeting him, i find that old voice kicking me in the teeth and rattling my nerves about past failures, or those i’ve left behind or how i must refrain from revealing too much. thus, this very quickly jotted poem."

I can't be sure or unsure if 'Pablo' really exists. It's a common name in Spain, and as Thonatos seems to have traveled at least once to France, it is possible he or she found a lover down in Spain or on the border perhaps. It's difficult when all you have is speculation.

While 'Pablo' is clearly a masculine name, and Po's notations reveal a feminine reaction to an agreeable crush, the poem itself has a few masculine overtones. More importantly than any of this to me however, is the last bit of Po's confession to the nervousness about revealing him or herself to this 'Pablo'. For whatever reason, Thonatos is clearly struggling with self-revelation on some level and this is apparant not just here but again, in the near lack of specific personal details. I hate to harp but it's too obvious not to consider.

What was going on with Thonatos? Is it possible that Po was an outlaw or, outside of the law? Or had something so devestating occurred in Po's life that even the most benign questions would perhaps require some reference to it, and Po simply did not want to risk reliving it on any level? Thonatos is clearly too clear headed to be a paranoid, so I rule out mental illness.

Also, 'Pablo' may very well be the muse other of Thonatos' works. And it's very clear to me, having Thonatos' poems and writings on hand, that Po is a deeply romantic person. The love felt for lovers and freinds is genuinine, in my mind, even when Po's apparant mishandling of lovers results in an end. I think Thonatos would be called a 'playboy' or 'playgirl' in our day and age, but that is too superficial a term. Those sorts have a meaness to them, a self-serving need for self-aggrandizement. But when Po is in love, it is deep and it is about that person, even though Po clearly had no interest in lifelong monogamy. Strike that. There are some writings that indicate an attempt. Some lover that struck Thonatos so deeply that they became 'the one muse', as Po puts it in another journal.

But, romantics must have romance, mystery, intrigue, danger etc etc. Subtract these from the relationship, and it will come to an end either by degrees or in big, fiery blow up. Thonatos reveals an enjoyment of dalliance, of the love of chasing and being chased, and being caught or catching. Moonlight, stars, wine, fire, and passion are metaphors and themes in many of Po's writings. When Thonatos is elated or in love, it is not submerged under a mask of sublime thinking. Po puts it right out there in all of its glory and all of its disaster. And this leads me to my next point about Thonatos.

There is very little guile in this artists writings. Reading some poetry, I have the feeling I am being fooled on some level or that the poet is walking me in circles for too long before getting to the point. Po does not rest on elaborate construction. Wether or not Po was as clear in personal conversations, I may never know. I have known some very talented people who on paper can absolutely slay my senses, but in conversation they are awkward and fumbling. There is some indication in 'Doing Backflips for Pablo' that Po suffered this dichotomy as well. For instance, there is a sense of surprise that 'Pablo' agrees to meet with and spend time with Po. And the poem is clear that Po must have gone through some period of isolation that undermined a confidence in his or her social skills.

I think, based on the notes, it is very fair to say this poem is definently in the first person relaying Po's own experience and is not fictional.